= DEVILSURETHRA =

Welcome to the land of laggers and leavers
sacred artifacts such as daggers and cleavers
and aghanims sceptre and messerschmidts reaver
where pros are jaded and the newbies are eager

Ive got 5 teammates in 3 different lanes,
denying creeps to stop experience gain,
last hit creeps so gold appears in the bank,
there are a few rules you have to adhere in this game

One action I don’t condone
Is wandering into the woods when you’re all alone,
You’ll be going home with broken bones
to the world tree or the frozen throne,

in prepation to reach your destination,
always carry a ring of regeneration
to help you survive all of the devestation
get boots of speed for added acceleration

the goal is penetration of the ancients,
have some patience and some dedication,
upon victory you will feel elation,
and join your vent channel for celebration


[chorus]

= RIPOSOETERNO =

mid to late game the war is now spread
and your gonna be dead without your travels or treads
you want the game to end, and your ready for bed
but the enemy is pushin and your health is red
you make one last push to the final frontier
right down to the gates while the path is still clear
scarred from battle yet you don’t break a tear
and you don’t stop movin till the enemies are here
but the time has come, and the end is nigh
but you don’t stop fightin till the last sunrise
and the sky is ringin with your allies cries
but all you can see is the fire in your eyes

back in the base your towers are takin a beating
it’s time you and your team really started competing
cause the pressure is on and your really overheatin
but you’re all backed up and you start retreatin
now your towers been killed, but you save the rax
then the enemy claims you’ve been using map hax
but your team was newb and thats the simple fact
so after that sad loss you can only look back

[chorus]

= DEVILSURETHRA =

I sit up high perched on my throne of ice,
I slice nice with the microphone device,
I’ve been known to fight to the bone for life,
sword honed and tight like a roman knight

the temperature rises as the sun beats down,
the scourge and the sentinel spawn in each town,
everybody here is seeking renown,
little do they know heavy is the crown,

it takes more than guts to become the best,
only the blessed can complete this quest,
if you wish for success you will need finesse,
smarts and strength in order to pass this test

mid to late game has been known to be brutal,
so when creeping your lane has become futile,
move into the woods and go kill some neutrals,
and farm some gold and hope to be useful

go to the store and purchase a recipe,
newly found item now go kill your enemies,
demonic spirits and heavenly entities,
go out to battle and create your legacy

[chorus]

= RIPOSOETERNO =

you find yourself trapped now in a frozen prison
while pushing those creeps now the sentinel has risen
your takin down towers and shootin fire arrows
while your playin your part in this grand epic battle
after gankin in the river and creepin in the woods,
you be racin back to town to buy yourself more goods
never will the anger here be understood
but defense of the ancients will prove you could
cause it’s a neverending war of dark and light
in a battle thats fueled by fearsome might
while you perservere through everyday and night
and you will never give in now to loosing this fight

the lanes are pushed, you’re the superior race
and your own inventory has no more space
and you cross the whole map without leaving a trace
on your way to go backdoor the enemies base
butterfly and hyperstone, speed galore
you take out a tower but you still want more
one rax two rax three rax four
and you leave all your enemies pwned on the floor

Greetings fellow noobs,

As most of you would know by now, the latest map is v6.50b with some major changes from 6.49c. Among them are the predominantly intel items Eul and Guinsoo. Below is a simple table to show the changes.

Yours noobishly,
Kamantalofu

Dear D-King,

Today its valentine day and i feel lonely. While the rest of my dota kakis are out there buying flower for thier girlfriend, having romantic candle light dinner, and banging it out i find myself sitting in front of my pc starting up war3. But thats not the real problem, for example last year during valentine i took me the whole day waiting for any one to join my dota game. Turns out there was no one in the server and i have to resort to AI map……

A simple request for your most bestest bestest fan…. can you please join my game tonight so i have someone to play with….. game name is >>come come lenglui game<<

Yours Truly,

Lonely Duck..

NoobScale [nübskäl]

noun 1. A graduated logarithmic measurement of the skill a player has in a particular activity.
Ranges from 0 to 10 with 10 being the highest possible skill level possible.
No player in this universe is known to have attained this level of skill yet.

see also
Noobmeter
Noobness scale
Suparskillzmeter

Hi DK,

Not exactly my 2 pennies worth, especially since it can be easily googled in YouTube, but I thought I’d share this with you and your fellow worshipers (for all I know, this is actually YOU playing!!). By far, this seems like the easiest hero to jungle. Have a look and you’ll see what I mean.

Yours noobishly,
Kamantalofu

Nevertheless, bow down to..

View the MTV!! :

Dear Dota-king,

I started playing DOTA since 5 years ago….the problem is i always get pawn by this bunch of people day in and day out. There reach a point where i decided to quit my job, kill my dog, burn my house down, divorce my wife and cut my family ties in the quest to find glory at bule.

That was before i meet u D-K…. can i call you that? Wait… im not worthy!! Sorry Dota-king i got to carried away. Anyway since that day u pawn the ass out of me, i have finaly found the light, my source of wisdom, to guide me on my quest for glory. 

So i would not waste much of your precious time as i know you have a very tight schedule to keep pawning noobs in blue. Can i please.. be your humble student ohhh grand master Dota-king. Im very well prepare to give up eveything for my quest for glory.

 Yours Truely,

Lame Duck

 PS: I have already quit my day job, i hope u can charge me less for the tuition fees since i have 5 kids, 1 wife and a dog to feed.

Look at the apm of AnT, thats me! ( The one in yellow )